I don't know.

Soooooooo about 3/5 of the holidays have passed and I've done nothing but watched pretty little liars. Lifeless ehhhhh :( Came back from Seoul last Tuesday and I really have nothing to look forward to after that trip that no one was really enjoying except for me. Well. :/ LOL.

So I've been thinking, when I was there for my friends, asking them if they're ok after reading their sad or rather emotional and not-so-happy tweets, I'd ask them if they're ok but no one asks me that yknow. I mean likeeeeee, I don't feel belonged nor important to any of the people I call friends. I'm really searching for a friend that can be there for me and like one that can act like a proper friend. Not that my friends now aren't good but idk....it's just no longer that feeling. Holidays separate me from my friends, I guess.............I really dread school though. When there's school, drama happens. It's so stupid like srsly. Super tiring not just physically (waking up at 6 and having to survive boring lessons and after that cca) but mentally challenging. Maybe it's just me feeling this way about school. Isn't school supposed to be enjoyable, FUN, life changing (LOL) and the place where you make friends for life? I don't see it, maybe just not now. Or maybe things are in front of me but I'm not cherishing it. Just maybe. I know that I look upon friends HIGHLY. They're an important part of someone's life, in fact, everyone. I don't have the courage to talk to my friends least they find me irritating. Is that how most of the people feel too???? Or is it just me again? Mehhhhh. The feeling now is weird. :(

Enough, shall blog about my Korea trip soon since I'm always lazy. Yes. Bye.

英英美代子每次懒惰 describes me. Haha.

Pray

Dear Heavenly Father,

I know you're hearing my worries and prayers every time I pray, and now I need you to heal me from this annoying and disturbing problem that I have :-( Show me, show me that there's a real God in heaven and let me experience your love towards me. I thank you for my daily water and bread, thank you for also not forgetting to wake me up today. I also thank you for placing my family and friends in my life making it colourful and fun filled. Thank you for creating this world. I love you so much and I welcome you into my heart because you are the center of it all. Amen.

Exams are "over"!!!!

So tmr is the official last day of exams but it doesn't rly count as it's just listening compre tmr. LOL no one really cares so YAYYYY PARTYING PARTYING YEAH PARTYING PARTYING YEAH. FUNFUNFUNFUN! LOOKING FORWARD TO THE WEEKENDS, not. HAHA. So we caught Taken 2 today! It was realllllly good and action filled!! Haha. Love Maggie Grace ahhhhhhhhh!!!! So prettttttty 8D

And so, my papers were quite ok except for emath lol. Paper 2 was so difficult and both the papers 1&2 lasted for 2hr/ea but it wasn't even enough time. I was panicking like mad. Argh thank god I finished almost the whole paper for paper 1. Left a few blanks ;\ and today's paper was F&N, hmm I know most of the answers but some of them was just rough answers...well it was better than expected :) anyway it's over already so yay!! No more studying for the year! n_______n;;;;;; i thank god for helping throughout allllll my papers, thank you lord for helping me when I'm studying or doing the paper. Thank you for EVERYTHING and I mean it. :") Can't wait to sing praises this coming Saturday!

Woo so yay!

I have been understand that "in a crowd but feels so lonely" feeling these days. I've been surrounded by many friends but all I felt was emptiness. I don't know why but it just doesn't feel that happy. I feel this sense of being left out when I'm not but sometimes, I have to admit, yes. But it's just this weird feeling knowing that you have friends but you also know that you don't really have them. I don't know what I'm saying either so it's like there are just so many people around you but you don't feel happy nor filled up. Well, life. You're weird.

Let your glory fill this room

You laid aside your majesty
Gave up everything for me
Suffered at the hands of those You had created
You took all my guilt and shame
When You died and rose again
Now today You reign
In heaven and earth exalted

I really want to worship You my Lord
You have won my heart
And I am Yours for ever and ever
I will love You
You are the only one who died for me
Gave Your life to set me free
So I lift my voice to You in adoration

Examination stress?

So all of my friends are currently getting that super big stress from the exams that are starting tomorrow woohoo can't wait. LOL. for it to end! I can't feel that ~stress~ :( argh whyyyy!!!!! I need that stress. T_T I'm still left with like 8 chapters of F&N and memorising for SS & history which is a lot of work and apparently my brain is a sad 1gb thumbdrive. 1 week, 1 week of shit and we're free!!!!!! Ahhhhh hahaha tho band's gonna resume. NOOOOOOOO. LOL. 3 days a week, NOOOOOOO!!!!! NONONONONO. ARGHHHHHH. I can't wait for the freedom after exams but haha most of the things I anticipate won't happen so, not gonna look forward to it. Expectations leads to disappointments. It's so true. It always happens. ALWAYS. At least to me, yes. Studied 4 chapters of F&N just now for 3 hours. SIAO, way too slow already. But this is really getting nowhere because it's too much to remember and understand.......love-hate r/s with F&N. so worried about the paper bc I know it isn't going to be easy and I can't fail this. Haven't been talking to my bff for so long that I feel like we aren't even bffs anymore :( I don't wanna lose anymore friends. But I get no confirmation that we're still like bffs. ;\ it's weird right, LOL for best friends to not talk all the time. Well, it isn't weird to me anymore. Whatever it is, let exams finish first. I'm really feeling super excited now haha I've gone haywire. Kk bye :)

There might be no tomorrow

So live life to its fullest.

I've heard this a million times, I do think about life when I hear this. But as much as I try to live my life to its fullest, I can't seem to get anything done. I don't want my life to be all about studying at this age. But this is a sad fact in Singapore that every teenager is going through. How sad and wasted. Wasting your whole youth on books and theories when you're supposed to be out enjoying yourselves, loving and being loved. Life in Singapore is such a bore, because:

don't study = no good results = no cert = no job = no money = no food = get looked down on = die

See? This is actually the reason why we are studying. Pathetic isn't it? Why can't life over here be more than just earning money for a living? Do we live for the sake of living only? Apparently, yes. And when I think of why I'm studying over here and feeling inferior b/c my friends are all mugging, life is pointless. :-( When I look at all the stars, idols, actors and singers, I wonder what I am doing with my life. Others are being successful and achieving what they love, I am here lying on my bed using my phone. Facing the phone 24/7 waiting for someone to talk to me and apparently it's always an empty wait.

Living life to the fullest means doing what you want to and live with no regrets. Fun, I wanna have fun and be happy. It isn't really hard at all, but so many things are restricting me to do so. So many things have happened this year that I hate facing reality. Reality is painful. The truth hurts. We are all afraid of failing, thus everyone's working hard. I don't know if it's just me feeling this way but I get really annoyed when my friends only know how to study. Study study study, aren't you sick of it. They reject me because of studying. Is it really that important? Have you guys ever wondered why the hell a piece paper we're working towards is so important? It's kinda stupid ain't it, we're studying to achieve a piece of paper. Genius.

I wanna have so much fun in life that I can forget all the pain I'm going through. All the sadness I have that is buried in my heart like a scar that'll never fade. I find my life so sad and pointless everyday. The same old routine every single day.

Wake up at 6am > school > go home > slack > sleep. And the cycle repeats. WHERE'S THE FUN. Sian. SIAN. SIANNNNNNNNNNN. TSK SIANNNNNNN.

For now, everyone's studying for the EOY exams and I'm still being lazy. Seriously I hate myself for being lazy. But it's because studying is so boring. I salute those that can face their books for hours. Lol. No life tbh. Let's hope for a better tomorrow.

Bye bye xoxo
All the best for your examinations everyone :-)

Reality strikes me.

I realised how people are so insensitive today. There are so many things for me to list out and say but I don't think I should. Honestly I'm not angry, but I'm just curious why you had to scream at me lol. I forgot what I wanted to say for a moment so I held on to my words, is that wrong? And it was only like a few seconds, calm down........

Speaking of that, people, if you know me, please know I only get angry at the right reasons and I'm definitely not the petty sort if you do know me personally. I try to treat everyone with respect but some people just has to test my patience and make me flare up. I don't understand why certain people just love being annoying and get that satisfactory when others get pissed off. Childish. Lifeless. I'm sure you have better things to do.

People who challenges each other are stupid, stop. Just stop. It's not cool, not brave and definitely not smart. Oh yes, back to the respect part. Teachers. Some teachers really deserve a kick in their asses. They expect us to respect them when they treat us like shit. Throwing work to us, if not, ask us to copy essays. 7 pages of copying DOESN'T help. Screw you. Seriously. And it's a waste of paper and pen ink I'd say. Pfft. Your way of teaching only works with yourself, I believe hahaha. If your attitude is like this because we are a NA class, we actually welcome you to quit teaching our class anytime. ;-) The reason why we don't give you enough respect is because your attitude towards us is horrible, you get offended at everyone single minor thing, you insult your own students. Wow wow wow, I'm so sure that's what the teachers are supposed to do huh? Hmm, I shall not continue further as this can ruin my mood entirely.

People who speak with no sense of consideration at all, please learn to think before you speak. Just saying a simple word like "stupid" can hurt someone so much because you don't know what they're going through inside and they might be feeling down cos they did badly for their tests. And you give them a STUPID, wow you don't know what they might do. So. Moral of the post, THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.

It's all about the effort.

In studies, friendship, and everything you do requires your own effort.

I don't know how people can complain that they aren't doing well in their studies and get angry because of their bad results when they are not even putting in the effort to even just stay awake in class. Lol. It's kinda annoying. You don't pay attention, your loss. Don't even blame the teacher. Speaking about that, I wanna say that if you don't have the patience to wait for people to be done with their work before answering your question, that's just ridiculous cause it's their choice whether they wanna answer you or not and just give them time to finish their things before they reply you in case they forget what they were writing. That's a pain in the ass. Secondly, just stop getting frustrated when you people don't know how to solve math questions/do your work. ASK, ASK THE TEACHER OR YOUR FRIEND. Damn it, there's no need to throw a tantrum. It's not our fault that you don't know how to do your work. Thirdly, don't blame the teacher for being bias against you if you're the type that doesn't do your work or just disrupts the class all the time. Teachers are humans too and they too cannot tolerate bad attitude just like us. If you don't give someone their respect that they deserve, don't expect to get any respect from them either. Lastly, I seriously CANNOT stand people who says "SEE I TOLD YOU!!!!!!!!" or "NO?!?!?" like omg CHILL. I'm just asking/saying can you just chill lol. And it's not like I offended them, they just get so agitated and gives this kinda angry replies. Then if I give you this kind of tone next time, don't get annoyed at all because that's what you gave me. And honestly speaking, just DON'T talk to me if you're the sort that gets offended at every single shit I say though I didn't even say anything offensive. And to those people who gets annoyed when people think that you're angry and you're not, think of why they even thought so. Your face either shows it all or your reply towards them sounds very annoyed. Then work on it la, if not people say that you're angry then you get pissed off after that. LOL.

Friendships,
I'm constantly the one trying to not drift apart from my friends but it's just so tiring and difficult because they give me the bochup attitude. What do you expect me to do?! I treasure every single friend so much and I just get so disappointed whenever I know they backstabbed me. It's tiring and difficult to not want to give up after trying so hard and no respond is given to even show that they give a shit at all. I'm so sick and tired of keeping up friendships but I don't wanna lose anyone. Ironic. Haha. Now that I attend church, I've learnt so many precious lessons on life. I realised how hurtful it is when you insult someone, how you should forgive and forget because God too, forgave our sins. If he can do that, we can too. And if no one shows their effort, how would I know that you care?

And are our lives just all about, work, study, money and play? I think there's more to life than just that. It's getting really boring and sickening.

Shall end here today with a verse. :-)

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” — Philippians 4:6

Trust

I don't know if I'm right, but if I am, this has shown me what a good friend you are huh? So good that you'd say such things about me to people. Ha ha ha. Even if it isn't someone I assumed, to whichever person that "good friend/one of my closest friend", I'm utterly disappointed at such words that would still be used even in such days. How long have we've been friends to reach the good friends stage? Lol idek, I've totally lost trust in most of my friends. Idk who really bothers or cares anymore. And what's more, idk who's my F R I E N D anymore. And what?! What kind of reason is this to get angry at me? I thought you'd understand what i really mean. Lol at myself for being dumb. Why would I even be jealous sia, it's not like there isn't my face inside the video. I don't really care if my face appears anyway, this class is just a chaos.

God please show me who my true friends are through some obstacles, please. I'm sick and tired of knowing there are so many backstabber around me and I am the only person that's still thinking we're still good friends. In Jesus's name I pray, Amen.

Exams are in 15 days, I should be studying and not getting annoyed and affected by these minor issues. Procrastination is getting me nowhere.

Bake till I die

Hello!

So, I baked cupcakes yesterday :-)
Nothing much, hols are pretty boring so,
hehehe pictures of the process:

Housewarming!

Went to jacky's housewarming today w/ Kellyn, Roy, Gavin and Ryan! It was pretty fun watching the three stooges and playing w 2 kids! :-) Nothing much, so..photo time!

Difficult to smile.

You tell me about me not studying hard enough, putting in enough effort in my studies. But do you know when I am revising? The answer is NO. You're never home when I'm studying, and when I still am studying when you get home, you'd probably think I am doing last minute revision/studying. The fact is, I care so much about my results but all you and grandma can say is "you are not putting in effort" and grandma even compares ME to other people. Hahaha, I know I'm not as hardworking but at least I'm doing something to improve my damn results. It's not easy to face the books tbh, I feel like sleeping and rolling away when I am in front of the textbooks. Why is Singapore this way though? Education is all that matters because without education, you're gonna die cos you're gonna be poor and homeless. Lol. That's not what life is about. What? I'm a student, I shouldn't be going out but studying instead? WHAT THE HECK IS THIS BULLSHIT. I am a student, SO!!?!!? So only adults are supposed to have fun and watch MOVIES la? The shit. Students are the people that are supposed to have more fun tbh. STRESS OF NOT BEING ABLE TO PROMOTE IN THE EOY IS ANOTHER THING. there are so many freaking things I am facing rn, do you know? Studies, bullies, and now what? YOUR VIEW TOWARDS ME? Why can't YOU parents be giving great encouragements instead of lecturing and nagging all the freaking time? Sucks to be facing this. Everyday. Every single day I get the same shit over and over again, oh Sarah you're not working hard. I don't see you putting in the effort. OF COURSE YOU DON'T. YOU DON'T FREAKING SAY?!!!!??!?? Ugh. Even if I get full marks for my emath paper, so what? I get good grades for my tests, SO WHAT? Doesn't determine much since you guys only know how to compare me to other people and ignore my good grades like nothing ever occurred. I don't get that motivation going like, YEAH I SHOULD GET GOOD MARKS ALL THE TIME SO I CAN BE HEARING GOOD COMPLIMENTS BLAHBLAHBLAH. Honestly I am so sick and tired of freaking life. screw life. So bad.

If I die young... Cupcakes!

I wonder who will be the one(s) missing me. Thinking bout the times we had. Wishing I was still here. Crying in front of my death bed. I'm so afraid of death, what if one day I just lose my mind because of this mess going on in my life? :( I don't know.

Anyway, baked cupcakes :) it tastes super good!! Ahhhhh short post, bye :)

Do I deserve these?

So, I've recently been prank called. And received insults from that call. After that, I received 2 more calls, but I didn't pick up. AFTER THAT, I got imitated with my laughter. Before all of these, sort of "gang raided". Fuck did I do to deserve all these bullshit? I didn't do anything to you right? Wtf and if you just hate me for me being me, is there something wrong with me being me? And my dream was enough to scare the bloody shit out of me. Srsly I hate school so much now I never wanna attend school anymore. All the eyes I get from the people when I go to school are just stressful. I am feeling so depressed inside, but no one knows. But it's not like I told anyone either. I feel left out, I daren't walk around school alone anymore. I feel scared. Afraid. Threatened. Sigh.. It's not like if I report this to the authority, they will do anything to stop it permanently lol. Enough alr...srsly.

I surrender. Stop torturing me like this.

This feeling feels like death is approaching tbh. Idk who feels this way when they need to go to school. Probably only me. Ha ha ha.

No one can answer my questions. I daren't approach my mom about this too... I feel uncomfortable. Ugh :-( what should I do? And seriously, all these are just fears.....

Nostalgia

So many shared memories, but you remembered none.

Gonna stop blogging for a few days. No one can see this now anyway since it's locked ^_^ I'm air talking.

Seriously?

Immature. Honestly, I think you only go to them cos you'll get benefits. I know you guys don't like to be made fun of also. Then why are you all doing this to me? The shit did I do to y'all that you guys just can't stop disturbing me? Srsly. It's annoying, attention seeking and lame.

This is a NOT so beautiful town, today.

Hey! ;-)

I'm back from town with Kellyn today ^~^. Went to jp for espressoup today and IT SUCKED SO BAD. seriously soup spoon rocks!!! DON'T TRY IT LA. THE STUPID CHICK-A-LEEKIE DAMN SOUR AND PEPPERISH I THOUGHT I WAS GNA DIE EATING IT LOL ALMOST CRIED!!!! HAHAHA SUPER BAD!!! And then bought very berry hibiscus from Starbucks to try. SHLSHSLAJSKSJS IT SUCKS TOO. APPARENTLY IM GNA BE RANTING ABT HOW SUCKY TODAY WAS LOL. THE STUPID DRINK TASTES LIKE DILUTED RIBENA WITH SOME SHIT FLOWER TASTE. GOSH. NOT NICE. Then we headed to town and we wasted 30 mins of the kbox time zzzz UGH. THEN KELLYN'S HOT HONEY LEMON TASTED LIKE POOP. BITTER AND SOUR. WHERE'S THE DAMN HONEY?! Okay and during the karaoke session, we couldn't control our bladder for like 2/3 times. SO COLD INSIDE THE ROOM!!!! AND THE STUPID MIC WAS SQUEAKING LIKE SHIT AND THE PERSON DIDNT COME AND FIX IT ZZZZ!!!! After kbox, we headed to scape and shopped arnd for about an hour. It was quite ok except for the part where the Polaroid skin mask was folded inside the packet I bought zz so apparently I had to change it. HENG THE OTHER PACK DON'T HAVE. Then we went to ion just to look at soshi's baby-g advertisement board. It's pretty!! I mean THEY ARE pretty LOL. And we walked around looking for food cos we were starving but ended up wanting KFC so we walked to 313 again. And then KFC had a lot of people so we went to toast box. Ok no more suayness. TOASTBOX WAS GOOD. THEIR CURRY IS SOOOO NICE. CAN BE COMPARED TO QUEENSWAY'S!!

HOPE U GUYS ENJOYED MY POST AS IT CONTAINS SO MANY CAPS AND MY RANTS ARE ALL TRUE OK.

PHOTO TIME ;)

Boring Friday ( ；´Д｀)

So, there's no school today and all I did was rot at home doing practically nothing 8|||| No one to go out with so I'm here sobbing in my bed. lol.

I changed the outlook of my blog just now and I'm quite happy w it? Hehehe simplicity is beauty! Woke up at 2pm today. I have no idea it was that late alr and idk how I slept till so late?! Wasted half a day /o\\\ but it is better than doing nth lollll. And as I was talking to my friend just now that was asking for advice, I realised how I don't /cannot do those things that I suggest people to do. Like..not to care about things if they affect you, I ask them to not care, but I can't do it when sth affects me. It's difficult but when they ask me, it's like JUST DON'T CARE LA. DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. DON'T think about it?! IT'S THE MOST DIFFICULT THING TBH. LOL. pffft. Life is complicating. Saying it is easier than doing it. I'm hungry now :( at this hour. Help meeeeeee!!!!! Actually why am I even writing in my blog everyday when I think no one reads it automatically without me posting it on twitter??? LOL. hmmm...

Love

Hellooooo!

So, woke up at 8:43am today. LOL so exact but went to bathe and stuff then left the house to meet my relatives. Went to Singapore island club or smth for lunch. It was greaaaaaaaat AN expensive :\ Dimsum goodness hehehe. So many dishes and had mango sago for dessert! Saw my cousins after a lot of months since the last time I saw them was during Chinese new year. Otw to supper now. Yayyyy. :-) took two photos that I'm satisfied with. The golf club and the swimming pool!!

CCC! NATIONAL DAY!

Hello ;-)

Back home from my church's charity concert! It was great :-) But they just had to show the "letter from mom and dad" video during the concert :c MY WEAKNESS. and today was rather good in school! We performed our dance!! It was super fun but we kinda screwed up the ending by a little and we got 3rd ^_______^ all the hard work paid off. Not really hard work but HEHEHEHEHE WORK STILL. I feel hungry now :( better sleep soon. Baibaiiiiii!!

treat everyone with sincerity and everything will be beautiful

:(

I'm so tired. I feel so shitty right now. Sigh..........I can't not think about it not act like I know nothing. Life, why are you doing this to me. Don't wanna break down, but if this is going to go on, sooner or later it wouldn't be a choice anymore. I'm really really tired and so sick, so disgusted with these kind of issues happening. A few months once is totally disastrous lol.y life can never be happy, can it? Can you people just let me off and give me a break? I'm really so close to dying. I am already dying inside. Mentally breaking down.

What's your problem?!

Seriously what the hell is your problem. Trying to break friendships one after another. We didn't say anything and you just had to dig out the past to say things like that. Hahaha so funny hor. Poor thing, no friends then look for friends like that is it? Idgas if you have no "STABLE" friends, but stop breaking others' f/s to get your own. -_- asshole. You are the worst person alive.

You're such a bitch. Srsly cannot take it alr. Idiot sia. People never do anything to you, all these are happening because of YOU. YOU AND YOU ONLY.

OH AND TO YOU, stop being a judgemental person. THIS HAS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU SO SHUT UP. ugh. Fake what fake sia. YOU are the fake one. Always acting so nice, but in fact, you're the one who judges others when you hear one party's story. Get your stupid facts right first. I don't care if 2 of you are close now, you don't know what she's really like. You're gonna be real shocked when you find out one day. I don't wanna point out anymore bad things you just had to make things like that. Oh well, congratulations to you because no one can stand your bloody attitude.

Rehearsal!

Hey :-)

Otw home from the national day rehearsal now! ^^ Hehe love my group of dancing classmates!! But someone damn pms today eh wts. It was still fun :) ask us to not back out last minute, but you're the one backing out last minute. Ask us to stay back to practice, you went home. LOL. what is this. How can we not be angry at you, excuse me. Stop apologising to me, it's annoying. Lol.

Can't wait to reach home to have my dinner, I'm feeling so hungry :( And I love bus rides with the sy cause we talk so much hehehe. About anything and everything!!! ;-)

Loved Rino's cupcake! It's so tasty woohoo!

And so, bye!

twelve cupcakes!

I have finally tried twelve cupcakes today LOL I know I'm slow. It tastes really good. But kinda small for a $3 cupcake. :o today seems like a food spree which is BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD!!!!!!! Finally back home after hours of walking around and woo okay the weather's kinda cooling but I'm perspiring. IRONIC. k bye for now!! :)

Fame and popularity, does it matter that much?

I wonder why people gets so desperate because of fame. Why would these people do stuff to hurt others just to get what they want? Kick people around like they're nothing and treat them like trash. I believe every human has their own rights. There are bullies everywhere, because they think they're cool and funny by making others look bad. Yeah sure, funny to YOU, not to other people. And idk why, these people are usually those that contradict their own words lmao. They need to be literally brain washed to clean those thoughts away.

So I have been thinking about too many things. I'm so easily jealous.. jealousy kills so bad. I have negative thoughts all the time because of jealousy, I would start blaming people when it's not even their fault and my thoughts would just run wild. :( I have to improve my character, so that more people wouldn't hate me.. But then again, why am I changing myself just to please others? Oh my lol I think I'm crazy. And I'd like to say what I hate and can't stand? :p

• I hate cigarettes. It's not the people that I hate but I hate the cigar, without the cigar, there'll be no smokers. But I hate being a second hand smoker, those smokers need to be considerate and not smoke at places where people are eating or etc!!! >:(
• I can't stand 2 faced people. Which do you want me to slap?
• I hate it when people say insulting things to other people just for bringing "laughter" to people around them. Please, it's not funny. I feel bad for those getting insulted.
• I hate people who are insensitive too.
• I can't stand people who hang out with a group or certain people just to be popular like them. Um, try hard please.
• I can't stand people who back out last minute and people who just comes late for appointments/meetings and just brushes it off like nothing happened and continues being late the next few times.
• I dislike petty people.
• I dislike people who are too serious towards some matters and then overreacts afterwards.
• I absolutely hate people who are dishonest.
I have so many more things that I hate and etc but I can't think of them at the moment lol. I try to accept the people in my class, but they just get sooooo damn annoying every single day. Ask stupid questions nvm, insult people and then when others ask you to shut up and you give the "NOT LIKE YOU NEVER INSULT BEFORE RIGHT" reply. Coward. -_-

....................

So, today has been super boring. Spent my day sitting around and using my phone. :-( Why are weekends always so boring!! Sobs. I can't wait to know my F&N results!! Hehe :) Good or bad, I shall accept it cause I didn't try studying hard enough, I did, just not enough effort. I now know how important getting good grades are and how studying is so important. It gives you that sense of achievement you'll never understand and that joyous feeling, indescribable.

Watched batman last night and it was quite ok only. Not that interesting...I prefer spiderman more. It's long winded I would say. But the plot's not bad cause it's not what you'd expect. A 6/10 if I were to rate it. Gonna go for late dinner later with the family! Bye! Have a good night everybody!

Look in the mirror

Stop acting so fake. You come to us when you have no friends to go to. It's annoying. When you need us, you stick around like a glue. But when you don't need us anymore, you kick us aside and ignore us. Oh wow. WHAT A WONDERFUL FRIEND YOU ARE.

Am I wrong in saying that? Hahaha NO. Everyone knows that, everyone noticed that. You dare to say my attitude sorta sucks? Oh my oh my, look at yourself first. When we ask you to play, you're like aiya don't want la. but when they ask you? You play. Lol what is this. You'd rather play with them than us? Fine. But don't ever look for us again. Seriously. We are like toys to you right?

I am trying so hard to not dislike anyone but wow you just had to forbid. I was convinced that you changed from last year and have became better but I was so damn wrong. Must've been blind huh? I still thought "no la, I think it's just that she blablabla" but lol no why did I even bother helping to sort of speak up for you.

Thanks though, for letting me know there are so many fakes still. And you guys are freaking noisy, you dont wanna learn, but people wanna learn so shut up in class when people sush you fgs. -_- I don't say shut up directly cos I don't wanna start a fight. But it's getting SUPER irritating. jsygk. Please la, it's like omg just go and think about what you did ok. And I hope you didn't tell whatever secrets that we told you out, though I think you did. lol idk. You ignore us when we asked for help but I chose to not ignore you when they suggested ignoring you. I hate quarrels, fights and disagreements a lot. But I guess people usually think that I like to create arguments cos I always start the spark. No. I don't. I only stand up for what I think is right. SICK AND TIRED OF FRIENDSHIP PROBLEMS. And honestly we can all see how hard you're trying to fit in. Lol.

...

Anyway, every year I'll just be like "no one cares anyway, let's not look forward to it." honestly, I will either cry on my birthday every year, or be crying the day before. I've not felt happy on that day in a long time. Let's see, 9 years?

Missing those times.

I miss it too.... I miss all we've done, all we've been through. Every argument means a stronger friendship. But why doesn't it go this way? Yes, I complain about this and that person but I don't think I sincerely mean it...maybe sometimes but idk why. Sigh. I have a bitchy attitude, I know. Idk how people tolerate with me tbh. Hahaha so funny to be saying such things.

It takes a lot for me to accept somebody fully. I have complains about everyone and everything, I can never be pleased lol. I hate that about myself but I can't change it..it's difficult

I miss how there'll always be something to do after school everyday
I miss how we'll be able to hang out without fail
I miss the lame jokes
I miss the inside jokes
I miss the fun times
I miss everyone
I miss the h2h talks
I miss the shopping sessions
I miss taking neoprints together
I miss retarded and stupid pranks
I miss the water balloon fights
I miss the sleepovers
I miss the gossips
There's still a lot more but
Lastly,
I miss every single person.....

I know some people might think that "oh Sarah's such a bitch, one moment she hates someone, the other moment she miss the person she hates" you will not understand unless you've been through it? Honestly speaking. I love last year so much more. Peace. No hate, no jealousy. Why're things like that now though. Why is it so awkward. Why is it so hard to accept one another? I hate myself for being annoying. But people never understands what I'm going through INSIDE, they always look at the surface and assume things are my fault and that I'm being unreasonable and make people unhappy all the time. Excuse me? Don't presume, assume or even THINK.

A few reasons why I think I get jealous easily is that I don't get those oh so wonderful celebrations on my birthday? But it's just like any other day to me now, doesn't really matter... Receiving cards means a lot but i dont get them sometimes hahaha how pathetic. Not an excuse though, but I don't have friends whom I can look for. I have a few, but idk, it seems like they don't really care. I know they do...but I just can't feel it??? I don't really make sense but yeah..that insecure feeling just keeps hovering around me.

走一步算一步.....吧

im gonna give all my secrets away

Hello :-)

HAPPY EASTER SUNDAY!
Hope everyone had a great one and I love you Jesus.

Went to church on good Friday, let out my tears, felt much better ;\ been way too long since i went to church. a little unfamiliar but well, God's presence took away all awkwardness. :')

I am really way too busy with school that I don't have the time to touch my com nowadays and I am missing out on A LOT of things. sobs. Studies haven't been too well...results are all like crap and I REALLY NEED TO BUCK UP. I keep saying that but I'm not doing anything about it :c

ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

HAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPY BIRTHDAY KIM JONGHYUN!!!!!!!
I hope you had a wonderful day w the 4 other boys and may you be as bling as ever. :') S2

honestly, i feel so out of social communication. like... all of my friends have someone to text and talk to all day long, but all i have is twitter. lol. i think it's pretty pathetic even though i am not much of a fun person to talk to by text, prolly in rl but not by online communication ways ;\ but whyyyyyyyyyyyyy, no one talks to me at all eh :( only when they need me to help them with something... sigh, doesn't matter though. cause nothing's gonna change even when i say it. maybe im a little jealous of others that get tons of reply whenever they ask a question on twitter, but what i get is 1/2 replies or NONE AT ALL. ;\ 


bye. xo

Problem?

Why are you pissed off at ME?

That was just a joke. It's not even serious at all, don't tell me you can't sense my sarcasm after being friends for so many years, dude. Seriously. I don't understand why. And things are going to be so awkward tomorrow, why? Because this is war. I HATE COLD WARS. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THEM IN MY LIFE ALREADY.

I won't abandon my friends for other friends that I have patched up with. Why are you making me sound so -_- like those people that changes friends every 1 week or something. NO. I'm not those sort that will leave anyone out or abandon anyone. Get that fact in your little head there. Don't accuse me of doing things I did not ok? Did I stop talking to y'all? NO RIGHT. You gave me attitude that is so hateful, how do you expect me to give you back a good reply? Ha sorry I'm not able to tolerate such things.

Why am I always having cold wars with YOU and YOU only?

Tell me the reason why you're angry right now, why you rolled your eyes and talk to me directly if you doubt me or hate the things that I do. Do you think I feel good? I feel like shit rn, yesterday was shit, today is worsen than shit. I am going to break down sooner or later and no one cares. SMLJXKS, I hoped and thought we would be good friends or even best friends for life throughout this secondary journey. I hope we won't fall out.

Please spare a thought for others.

One after another, am I a bad friend?

i dare you to move.

I...feel so nostalgic listening to all these songs, do you still remember when we sang songs together? So many good memories, but it's sad that it might not happen again.

Although we might be ok with each other now, no one's making a move. I don't have the courage to do so. I feel so much like a bitch. I don't know how to phrase it, actually. It's like, it's killing me inside but I just don't want to do anything about it...

Sigh.

I feel really really bad and horrible. We see each other in school everyday, but we just look away awkwardly. I don't like this...how it's going on. No matter how much I was angry at you, you were still my best friend after all. It's hard to let go. I might say I hate you and all, but I don't think I actually do. They are just words of anger. What can I do? What has been done, has been done.

I don't understand how things are going on in life, problems after problems. And people dear to me, are leaving me, one by one...

Soon, all of them will be gone and I'll have new friends again, is this how it goes? I don't want this to happen, I want them all with me, all the way till we grow old and get a whole head of white hair. I want to believe in FOREVER, but all these things are making me doubt so. All of a sudden, all the unhappy thoughts are appearing and I can't get them out. I hate feeling emotional. I looked through my archives in this blog, and I miss the times we hung out even more.

ARGH. hate feeling this way. i hope we can still be friends. even after all these, sorry.
May this cycle stop.

xo, god bless! bye.

Secrets.

I can't keep secrets? lol who are you to say I can't keep secrets tbh? I barely tell anyone secrets that are really secrets. I'm not angry or what but look at how many secrets I've told you in these few years and this is what I get in return, telling someone else I can't keep secrets l0l. Thanks.

Hey. How have days been going? In band RN helping out w the sec ones' cca tryout. ;ooo; so siannnnnn. I wanna go home :(.

Anyway.
My new class is kinda cool. Except for a few people. And found out a person copied my pencil case. Ummmm, originality pls. -_- but had fun during classes today! :).

Kk bye HEHE.

2012!

Hey!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! (⌒-⌒; )
May 2012 be a blessed and fruitful year!

Thank you friends for the whole of 2011! :) hehe.

Had a countdown w my girls yesterday + sleepover. Just had prata just now and I'm otw to Chinatown RN. On the bus. :p

Short post k bye. ^^