Difficult to smile.

You tell me about me not studying hard enough, putting in enough effort in my studies. But do you know when I am revising? The answer is NO. You're never home when I'm studying, and when I still am studying when you get home, you'd probably think I am doing last minute revision/studying. The fact is, I care so much about my results but all you and grandma can say is "you are not putting in effort" and grandma even compares ME to other people. Hahaha, I know I'm not as hardworking but at least I'm doing something to improve my damn results. It's not easy to face the books tbh, I feel like sleeping and rolling away when I am in front of the textbooks. Why is Singapore this way though? Education is all that matters because without education, you're gonna die cos you're gonna be poor and homeless. Lol. That's not what life is about. What? I'm a student, I shouldn't be going out but studying instead? WHAT THE HECK IS THIS BULLSHIT. I am a student, SO!!?!!? So only adults are supposed to have fun and watch MOVIES la? The shit. Students are the people that are supposed to have more fun tbh. STRESS OF NOT BEING ABLE TO PROMOTE IN THE EOY IS ANOTHER THING. there are so many freaking things I am facing rn, do you know? Studies, bullies, and now what? YOUR VIEW TOWARDS ME? Why can't YOU parents be giving great encouragements instead of lecturing and nagging all the freaking time? Sucks to be facing this. Everyday. Every single day I get the same shit over and over again, oh Sarah you're not working hard. I don't see you putting in the effort. OF COURSE YOU DON'T. YOU DON'T FREAKING SAY?!!!!??!?? Ugh. Even if I get full marks for my emath paper, so what? I get good grades for my tests, SO WHAT? Doesn't determine much since you guys only know how to compare me to other people and ignore my good grades like nothing ever occurred. I don't get that motivation going like, YEAH I SHOULD GET GOOD MARKS ALL THE TIME SO I CAN BE HEARING GOOD COMPLIMENTS BLAHBLAHBLAH. Honestly I am so sick and tired of freaking life. screw life. So bad.