Happiness will come to you

Hi guys, just been having some thoughts on this recently, too much of it that I've decided to write about it.

Some times we think that we are not good enough
Some times we think that we are not worthy
Some times we compare ourselves to others and deem them as "perfect" while we're "pathetic"
Some times we think too much at night
Some times we get our emotions run over
Some times we feel jealous of the rich
Some times we feel ugly
Some times we feel life is unfair because of all the bad things happening
Some times we don't like ourselves
Some times we hate ourselves for being us
Some times we are the ones who bring ourselves down
Some times we feel lonely
Some times we feel unloved
Some times we feel that no one can understand our horrible situation
Some times we feel like the world is a better place without us
Some times we forget how blessed we are to even be thinking of such things

People are suffering in unfortunate situations, having no food, they have to worry about how they're going to survive another day when they can't feel themselves up. These people are worried about how to even keep their bodies able to last through another day. They want to live, they're fighting to live, but we want to end our lives when we have everything we need, food, air, water, shelter, clothes and etc just because we are going through a tough period. Let me remind you, you are tough enough to get through this because you are strong!

Don't we seem very unappreciative?

I think we are too blessed with everything we have that we forget how blessed we are.

I am not saying that we can't feel down and are wrong to feel so but there are really people having it worse. It's just like how you think you're smart, pretty, rich, the best, but there'll always be someone prettier, smarter, richer, higher and better than you. Someone will always have it worse, so be thankful.

You only have $5 left to go through the day? Be thankful that you can still buy some food.
You only got a B for your exams? It's okay, you are one step closer to an A.
You failed your exams? It's okay, you can just worker harder the next time round.
You fell out with your friend? I'm sorry, but if they're meant to leave, they will.
You don't like your meal in front of you? At least you have food to eat, be thankful.
You hate your new class/school? Thank God you can have education.

There's always a better side to things. Try to look at the brighter side.

Life will always become better no matter how much you do not believe in that. However, it will also not become better if you keep dwelling on the past hurts and think negatively on everything. Mindsets like "life is just good to me for a day, tomorrow will definitely not be good, I am dreading tomorrow." If you already predict that tomorrow will suck, it most likely would because you told yourself and your mind that "I am going to feel sad tomorrow". We can't think like this, negativity is like bacteria. It spreads all over you if you do not do anything about it. We need to get help from someone and eat proper medicine to heal ourselves and to stop it from spreading further. We should not feed ourselves with grief and negativity. It hurts our bodies, it is not healthy to think of bad thoughts. Ask yourself this, why do you think of bad thoughts when you can think of good thoughts? Why do you choose to feed yourself with sadness instead of overwhelming yourself with happiness? Do what's better for yourself.

I go through pain, hurt and anger too. I lose friends, get angry with my family, get hurt over and over again by words and actions but those are just phases of life. A phase is not forever, it will be over it is a "phase" for a reason. So get over your hurt and move on, don't dwell on unhealthy thoughts. If you feel like you cannot take it anymore, talk to someone. PLEASE, talk to someone. I promise you that you will feel better after talking to someone rather than cooping it all up in yourself. It will eventually eat you up. We have to go through lessons in life to learn, to grow. Lessons should make you stronger and not tear you down.

If you feel like life will never go well for you, you are dead wrong. Say I'm religious, but God has a plan for you, for me and for everyone else. A smooth path is easy, but you don't get to feel the excitement of a bumpy road. We have to learn to enjoy the process of the road just like how many of us enjoys a roller coaster ride, will the roller coaster ride be fun if it is just a straight path with no drops? No, that defeats the purpose of a roller coaster, right? Your life has a purpose! You are a blessing to someone, just by plainly existing in their life, you are a blessing. Trust me. And that is something to feel great about because how great is it that someone is thankful for your existence?! IT'S AMAZING! I love life, I love people and seeing people love each other warms my heart.

I have gone through things in my life that I wish did not happen, broken friendships, people I wish I never met, incidents that hurt me so much I cry over it for days. But it's all over now. I learn and grow from those past stories. They molded me into what I am today, and I am proud of it.

People leave you, get over it. Some people are not meant to be in your life, they will leave eventually no matter how you try to keep them. Better people will come along your way! Don't feel alone, there is always someone around. Humans are not meant to be alone, you will have friends that will be with you going through the ups and downs for a long long time. Treasure them, tell them you love them and are thankful for them.

"Fire doesn't come quickly, it requires patience and attention."

If you have recently gone through something that broke your heart, let time heal it. To heal a wound, you need to stop touching it. I want to remind everyone that whatever happens, you are loved, it's a bad day, not a bad life! (yes I know, I always say this but it's so very true) You need time and patience to pull yourself up, get your shit together and come back even stronger and better. Life is really a roller coaster ride, everyone goes through horrible things, you are not the only one. So do not always swallow yourself in self pity and think that the world is ending because of your trivial matter. No, the world goes on rotating and it will not stop for you. Just like a train, even if you don't ride it to enjoy the ride, it will continue moving on to the next station. So why not hop on and enjoy the ride even though you know it will be tiring? Keep trying out new things, new adventures, new food, make new friends, new clothes and try anything you want to try. You really only get to live once, have fun and enjoy life.

Life is filled with so much fun and there's just so much beauty in one's life. If you want to have that ice cream, buy it, eat it and enjoy the process of it. You want to get a new hairdo? GO FOR IT! You want to try out bungee jumping? GO FOR IT! You want to buy clothes? JUST BUY IT! You want to travel to Japan? SAVE UP AND GO AHEAD! You want to buy a $50 t-shirt? BUY IT! (even though erm $50 for a t-shirt is rather expensive but if you really like it, get it). The question is, why not? We only have about 80-90 years on earth to enjoy life, why are we not living it to the fullest? Don't let your studies hold you back from enjoying things just because you have to study. NO, that is bullshit. Studying has to be done but you can manage your time better and enjoy even during your exams period. I have never understood why my friends always said "cannot la, exams coming, we go out after exams" when I ask them out let's say, a week before exams. If someone asked me out, I would most likely say yes. Exams should not be stopping me from having fun and enjoying that week before the exams. It is not a probation period, why should I be cooping myself at home and stuffing my face in notes? Well, that's my take. I don't see the need in studying for 10000000 hours a day when I know I am just comforting myself that I am doing something and not slacking off unlike everyone else who is studying so damn hard.

It's okay if you disagree with me on everything I have said so far. Disagree, it's your life, your take, your choice. Don't let anyone stop you from doing anything you want, unless it's bad for you. If you are being dissuaded from doing something that hurts you or others, please don't do it. Don't hurt anyone for your self-interest and don't hurt someone with words during a rash moment. I am learning to do so, even though it is hard. Making a change inside is really difficult, it takes so much time but it can be done if we really want to make a change. Makes changes that really make you happy, do the right thing.

For people who feel worthless, unloved, unaccepted and so many more that I can't finish listing out please don't. You are worthy. You mean something to someone. You are important. You do not deserve to feel like this. Bad things do not define you, you are who you are now. Be who you want to become and do not feel afraid to take a step out of your comfort zone because of others' opinions, it does not matter. Be yourself and love yourself. Look around you, there's definitely someone who treasures you. You just need to open up your heart and accept them and see carefully there's someone waiting for you to go into their embrace anytime! Please learn to love yourself, and love others too. But you can't do so if you don't love yourself. Everything starts from you and your small step of faith.

Please don't spread hate. Stay away from someone if you dislike him/her, you don't have to let them know that you do not like them. It only makes them feel like crap and you don't gain anything too. This world will be a better place if everyone learns how to love more and complain less. Again, I am still learning. I always complain and always rant, but I really do treasure my life, my friends around me, my family and everything that I have. I love life, I love how beautiful the world is, I want to travel all around to taste new food, see how others live and view beautiful scenery. Let our 2016 goal to be more positive, enjoy life more and generally just to be happy and contented always. Happiness is not that far away, you just have to walk towards it and stop idling around.

I want to let those in my life now know that I love you, thank you for being you, thank you for existing and thank you for accepting me!

TGIF

Yes, I'm on my way home in the train feeling bored again thus I am writing here.

29 October 2015

Cheryl (it was her actual birthday) and I received a surprise (advance) celebration from my friends when I really did not expect anything from them at all. It feels good to be surprised and believe me, I really was surprised. So apparently they planned this a week ago and I knew absolutely nothing about it. The plan was to tell me that Belle had to go to the toilet and I was supposed to follow her while the rest goes to get the surprise stuff. However, just so happen that I needed to go to the ATM when we were at the interchange so choa and Cheryl waited for me while Jiamin, who was supposed to meet her buyer IN cotton on and belle goes to find MY who had been waiting at cwp for 4 hours alone (thank u so much 😘) to get the balloons and cakes. So, Cheryl, choa and I were waiting outside of QQ rice and suddenly I see the 3 of them approaching with balloons and I'm like omg with my mouth opened in shock HAHAHA my mouth could not help but hang open. So yes there goes and I mean we were really surprised even though I'm not so sure about Cheryl since she said she was already suspecting something HAHAHA but I didn't expect it and I'm really thankful!!!!

And before that in the morning, I texted belle and my asking them if we were going to do anything for Cheryl's birthday because it was today. Belle and MY replied me sorta the same thing and I was like what is happening LOL. Same for Cheryl, she messaged the four of them asking what they were gonna do for my birthday and belle was like "walao can you two just shut up not!!!" HAHAHAHHAA. 

We have forged a beautiful friendship even though we met only in April which has only been about 6 months. I'm so thankful for your efforts and thoughts into preparing this :) Big big thank you to the four of you again! Love you all so very much and I hope our friendship goes a long way! 

Honestly though, I have not received a surprise before in 18 years of my life even though I celebrate it on most years. Birthdays have never been quite important to me since it's just the usual celebrating with my family, having dinner and then cutting the cake. So, I was never excited for my birthday. 

I have done a few surprises for my friends though, and I enjoy planning it and seeing them happy when surprised. Even though it's sometimes disappointing that they didn't do the same thing for me, I did not do it hoping that they would or must do it for me. I give presents to my friends but they don't give me anything on my birthday, it feels slightly shitty but again, I don't buy presents for them hoping they buy for me during my birthday too. It just kinda feel like maybe my birthday don't matter to them but it doesn't make me regret celebrating for them on their birthdays. I think it's just natural for me to feel this way but other than that,  it's all in the past when I could not appreciate how my birthday is actually to celebrate that I lived another year, I grew one year older, wiser and have people around me that I love and love me. I realise that presents are no longer important. Also, I love it when I receive birthday messages that warm my heart!!! People telling me how much they appreciate having me in their life and things like that. Those words are bigger presents than any physical present. 

There are just so many more things to be thankful for rather than physical gifts.

Continuing from yesterday...

So we (cheryl, belle, my) went to chicken up for dinner. We ordered the whole chicken (20pcs), bulgogi fries and 1-for-1 melon bingsu. The food were all quite good, I liked it and I will visit chicken up again. Here are some pictures!

That was a really filling meal. 

Today, 30 October 2015

Nothing special really happened today. School was boring as usual. Ugh 8am lessons. Ugh formal wear. Ugh H modules are so dry. The only thing good about H modules is that it ends at 12:30pm. Other than that, everything else is a dread. Hope lessons become more interesting.

It has been 2 weeks since school started now and I still have not eaten with any of my new classmates. Everyday it's just me, belle and rahman. Hopefully we get to mix with the others soon. 

Tata for now!

Motivation, wherefore art thou

It's another day and I'm currently on the way to school in the train. 

Thankfully, today's lessons start at 9:15am which means one more hour of sleep. 

As everyone knows, RP has a system which changes and shuffles classes every semester, which sucks. I don't enjoy making new friends every 6 months and having to put the friendship I forged in the previous semester further from me. I am so thankful to have met the five girls in the past semester but it just sucks that we aren't in the same class anymore which kinda means taking my motivation for school away from me. I know, I sound so immature and whatsoever but dude????? we grew really close in just a few months' time span and I love it. We have fun together, scold each other, disturb the one who's in love, sing out loud in class and scream at things that don't even make sense. But it's all fun and joy. They were the reason why I even enjoyed school last semester, yes I did enjoy school. It feels like people I enjoy being with and working with have been taken away :-(

I love scolding, talking about our not so painful and difficult life, laughing like shit and eating hot tomato with MY. I love her reaction to my/our scolding and watching her getting scolded by her mother while we're skyping. I love her cute moments when she doesn't realise some things that have obviously happened, happened. 

JM and I kept beating each other in the later part of sem 1 hahaha. I love how we always share the same thoughts towards certain people and their not so understandable actions and words. I love disturbing JM and making her lose her shit (talking to the glass panel....?) and end up laughing like crazy even though she is damn annoyed. 

I love how Belle and I are in the same class now, thank God. I love how she's always scolding people, shouting at everyone when we all starting losing our chill and how she's always laughing at every stupid shit that happens. I love how we always, most oftenly share the same thoughts and views on people/things, (is this an 18 thing? Do people of the same age tend to think the same way?...) bully the 98s ahahahahahah there's just this common channel there. 

I love how Cheryl is so gong, always getting scolded and blamed by us HAHAHAHAHA seriously her life is quite tough with us but we love you!!! I love talking to Cheryl la, she always talks heart to heart shit with me on Skype and share our views on life and relationship shit. I love sharing my life stories with Cheryl cos I feel like she can relate and she also ends up telling me hers. She's also forever complaining about life and sleep (when she chooses to sleep at 12 no matter how many times we scold her for doing so (she's also beside me complaining about her sleep rn)). 

I love how Choa is so considerate toward others (probably not us, HAHA jokes), always acting like an angel like what the heck why is she so nice some times, like seriously when we hate someone we don't give a shit about them but she actually feels bad and stuff. But actually she's not that angelic after you know her la, always judge and laugh at people HAHAHA. Also she is a bit gong at times just like MY & cheryl (probably a 98 thing), which is quite cute but can be quite annoying also cos why r they so stupid HAHAHAHAHA JK LA I LOVE ALL OF U INNOCENT LITTLE SHITS. 

I just love everything about hanging out with them!!!!! These things are what made my sem 1 super fun and enjoyable. I think people hate us for being so noisy but who cares. 

No matter how much drama has happened in the previous class, I don't care because honestly those people who weren't close with me, those who I spoke less than 3 sentences to per day and those who hate me, don't matter to me. I still prefer my previous class even after all the lame shit that occurred. 

But I personally feel that there's one thing to be thankful is that I don't wanna be stuck with the class I'm currently in for 3 years or so lol. Maybe it's because everyone already made friends in the previous semester so no one feels the point in making friends in this new class which also sucks and defeats the purpose of RP changing everyone's classes cos in short, no one gives a fuck about making new friends and socialising with people you can't choose in your working life next time. 

Well, I just dread school everyday like I'm dragging my body to hell. School currently sucks but I hope it'll get better. Maybe it's just the second week that's why but ughhhhhhHhHHhHhH I feel like dying, at least my soul is. 

In a nutshell, I feel like my excitement for attending school has been thoroughly sucked away. 

I hope I can find my motivation for school really soon. 

Good days

Hello!

Today I hanged out with my secondary school friends, the usual. It was really fun and I wish that this meetup can become a constant thing. It's been so long since I've last met them and today was something I did not expect to be that good. We did not take a picture together, again. The last time we did, it looked like a "poly camp group" photo lol. Anyway, I love these guys a lot!!! Thank you all for today & thank you w-e for the pizza treat :') So kind of you, so unexpected.

Why is it that people tend to ignore group chat messages????? I really don't understand. It kinda frustrates me cause then, what is the chat  for????!!!!

Also, it's been around 1 month plus since school began and it's the holidays now. School has been kind and honestly, quite fun. I am the most glad that I do not dread classes. I'm thankful for the people in my class cause they're honestly so fun to be with and they seem rather genuine. Mmm hopefully we get to have even more fun together before the semester ends (time in poly passes so quickly, it's scary). Nothing special has been happening but I'm just so happy today because I enjoyed myself so much! We laughed so much and talked quite a bit even though we did not do much, basically just watched a movie, played some games, watched videos and had dinner, it was a period of time where I wanted time to stop moving. How often is it that these guys are so cooperative and talk in conversations where 18 year olds do.

I've been feeling quite weird though, not sure what this feeling is but well...

Bye for now!

Brand new start

It's been a year since I've last blogged and it's also a day before school is starting. Tomorrow is a fresh start in school and I'm nervous yet excited at the same time. I am literally feeling the same feelings I felt a year ago. 

Anyway, PFP has been a great year with more downs than ups tbh but it was a good experience and memory anyways! I miss my class already but shit, there just some people that I'm so glad I'm not in the same course/class with anymore. So immature and fake lmao. Always indirect and shit lmao. 

Aaaaah so glad to have met some people though. Really really glad. Those I thought I would keep in contact with after PFP ends at the start of the year, made me change my opinion about them and it's just so weird how people take so long to reveal the real them and it's also scary lol. 

I really sincerely pray that this year will be great and even better than last year! 

Till my next update!