Housewarming!

Went to jacky's housewarming today w/ Kellyn, Roy, Gavin and Ryan! It was pretty fun watching the three stooges and playing w 2 kids! :-) Nothing much, so..photo time!

Difficult to smile.

You tell me about me not studying hard enough, putting in enough effort in my studies. But do you know when I am revising? The answer is NO. You're never home when I'm studying, and when I still am studying when you get home, you'd probably think I am doing last minute revision/studying. The fact is, I care so much about my results but all you and grandma can say is "you are not putting in effort" and grandma even compares ME to other people. Hahaha, I know I'm not as hardworking but at least I'm doing something to improve my damn results. It's not easy to face the books tbh, I feel like sleeping and rolling away when I am in front of the textbooks. Why is Singapore this way though? Education is all that matters because without education, you're gonna die cos you're gonna be poor and homeless. Lol. That's not what life is about. What? I'm a student, I shouldn't be going out but studying instead? WHAT THE HECK IS THIS BULLSHIT. I am a student, SO!!?!!? So only adults are supposed to have fun and watch MOVIES la? The shit. Students are the people that are supposed to have more fun tbh. STRESS OF NOT BEING ABLE TO PROMOTE IN THE EOY IS ANOTHER THING. there are so many freaking things I am facing rn, do you know? Studies, bullies, and now what? YOUR VIEW TOWARDS ME? Why can't YOU parents be giving great encouragements instead of lecturing and nagging all the freaking time? Sucks to be facing this. Everyday. Every single day I get the same shit over and over again, oh Sarah you're not working hard. I don't see you putting in the effort. OF COURSE YOU DON'T. YOU DON'T FREAKING SAY?!!!!??!?? Ugh. Even if I get full marks for my emath paper, so what? I get good grades for my tests, SO WHAT? Doesn't determine much since you guys only know how to compare me to other people and ignore my good grades like nothing ever occurred. I don't get that motivation going like, YEAH I SHOULD GET GOOD MARKS ALL THE TIME SO I CAN BE HEARING GOOD COMPLIMENTS BLAHBLAHBLAH. Honestly I am so sick and tired of freaking life. screw life. So bad.

If I die young... Cupcakes!

I wonder who will be the one(s) missing me. Thinking bout the times we had. Wishing I was still here. Crying in front of my death bed. I'm so afraid of death, what if one day I just lose my mind because of this mess going on in my life? :( I don't know.

Anyway, baked cupcakes :) it tastes super good!! Ahhhhh short post, bye :)

Do I deserve these?

So, I've recently been prank called. And received insults from that call. After that, I received 2 more calls, but I didn't pick up. AFTER THAT, I got imitated with my laughter. Before all of these, sort of "gang raided". Fuck did I do to deserve all these bullshit? I didn't do anything to you right? Wtf and if you just hate me for me being me, is there something wrong with me being me? And my dream was enough to scare the bloody shit out of me. Srsly I hate school so much now I never wanna attend school anymore. All the eyes I get from the people when I go to school are just stressful. I am feeling so depressed inside, but no one knows. But it's not like I told anyone either. I feel left out, I daren't walk around school alone anymore. I feel scared. Afraid. Threatened. Sigh.. It's not like if I report this to the authority, they will do anything to stop it permanently lol. Enough alr...srsly.

I surrender. Stop torturing me like this.

This feeling feels like death is approaching tbh. Idk who feels this way when they need to go to school. Probably only me. Ha ha ha.

No one can answer my questions. I daren't approach my mom about this too... I feel uncomfortable. Ugh :-( what should I do? And seriously, all these are just fears.....

Nostalgia

So many shared memories, but you remembered none.

Gonna stop blogging for a few days. No one can see this now anyway since it's locked ^_^ I'm air talking.

Seriously?

Immature. Honestly, I think you only go to them cos you'll get benefits. I know you guys don't like to be made fun of also. Then why are you all doing this to me? The shit did I do to y'all that you guys just can't stop disturbing me? Srsly. It's annoying, attention seeking and lame.

This is a NOT so beautiful town, today.

Hey! ;-)

I'm back from town with Kellyn today ^~^. Went to jp for espressoup today and IT SUCKED SO BAD. seriously soup spoon rocks!!! DON'T TRY IT LA. THE STUPID CHICK-A-LEEKIE DAMN SOUR AND PEPPERISH I THOUGHT I WAS GNA DIE EATING IT LOL ALMOST CRIED!!!! HAHAHA SUPER BAD!!! And then bought very berry hibiscus from Starbucks to try. SHLSHSLAJSKSJS IT SUCKS TOO. APPARENTLY IM GNA BE RANTING ABT HOW SUCKY TODAY WAS LOL. THE STUPID DRINK TASTES LIKE DILUTED RIBENA WITH SOME SHIT FLOWER TASTE. GOSH. NOT NICE. Then we headed to town and we wasted 30 mins of the kbox time zzzz UGH. THEN KELLYN'S HOT HONEY LEMON TASTED LIKE POOP. BITTER AND SOUR. WHERE'S THE DAMN HONEY?! Okay and during the karaoke session, we couldn't control our bladder for like 2/3 times. SO COLD INSIDE THE ROOM!!!! AND THE STUPID MIC WAS SQUEAKING LIKE SHIT AND THE PERSON DIDNT COME AND FIX IT ZZZZ!!!! After kbox, we headed to scape and shopped arnd for about an hour. It was quite ok except for the part where the Polaroid skin mask was folded inside the packet I bought zz so apparently I had to change it. HENG THE OTHER PACK DON'T HAVE. Then we went to ion just to look at soshi's baby-g advertisement board. It's pretty!! I mean THEY ARE pretty LOL. And we walked around looking for food cos we were starving but ended up wanting KFC so we walked to 313 again. And then KFC had a lot of people so we went to toast box. Ok no more suayness. TOASTBOX WAS GOOD. THEIR CURRY IS SOOOO NICE. CAN BE COMPARED TO QUEENSWAY'S!!

HOPE U GUYS ENJOYED MY POST AS IT CONTAINS SO MANY CAPS AND MY RANTS ARE ALL TRUE OK.

PHOTO TIME ;)

Boring Friday ( ；´Д｀)

So, there's no school today and all I did was rot at home doing practically nothing 8|||| No one to go out with so I'm here sobbing in my bed. lol.

I changed the outlook of my blog just now and I'm quite happy w it? Hehehe simplicity is beauty! Woke up at 2pm today. I have no idea it was that late alr and idk how I slept till so late?! Wasted half a day /o\\\ but it is better than doing nth lollll. And as I was talking to my friend just now that was asking for advice, I realised how I don't /cannot do those things that I suggest people to do. Like..not to care about things if they affect you, I ask them to not care, but I can't do it when sth affects me. It's difficult but when they ask me, it's like JUST DON'T CARE LA. DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. DON'T think about it?! IT'S THE MOST DIFFICULT THING TBH. LOL. pffft. Life is complicating. Saying it is easier than doing it. I'm hungry now :( at this hour. Help meeeeeee!!!!! Actually why am I even writing in my blog everyday when I think no one reads it automatically without me posting it on twitter??? LOL. hmmm...

Love

Hellooooo!

So, woke up at 8:43am today. LOL so exact but went to bathe and stuff then left the house to meet my relatives. Went to Singapore island club or smth for lunch. It was greaaaaaaaat AN expensive :\ Dimsum goodness hehehe. So many dishes and had mango sago for dessert! Saw my cousins after a lot of months since the last time I saw them was during Chinese new year. Otw to supper now. Yayyyy. :-) took two photos that I'm satisfied with. The golf club and the swimming pool!!

CCC! NATIONAL DAY!

Hello ;-)

Back home from my church's charity concert! It was great :-) But they just had to show the "letter from mom and dad" video during the concert :c MY WEAKNESS. and today was rather good in school! We performed our dance!! It was super fun but we kinda screwed up the ending by a little and we got 3rd ^_______^ all the hard work paid off. Not really hard work but HEHEHEHEHE WORK STILL. I feel hungry now :( better sleep soon. Baibaiiiiii!!

treat everyone with sincerity and everything will be beautiful

:(

I'm so tired. I feel so shitty right now. Sigh..........I can't not think about it not act like I know nothing. Life, why are you doing this to me. Don't wanna break down, but if this is going to go on, sooner or later it wouldn't be a choice anymore. I'm really really tired and so sick, so disgusted with these kind of issues happening. A few months once is totally disastrous lol.y life can never be happy, can it? Can you people just let me off and give me a break? I'm really so close to dying. I am already dying inside. Mentally breaking down.

What's your problem?!

Seriously what the hell is your problem. Trying to break friendships one after another. We didn't say anything and you just had to dig out the past to say things like that. Hahaha so funny hor. Poor thing, no friends then look for friends like that is it? Idgas if you have no "STABLE" friends, but stop breaking others' f/s to get your own. -_- asshole. You are the worst person alive.

You're such a bitch. Srsly cannot take it alr. Idiot sia. People never do anything to you, all these are happening because of YOU. YOU AND YOU ONLY.

OH AND TO YOU, stop being a judgemental person. THIS HAS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU SO SHUT UP. ugh. Fake what fake sia. YOU are the fake one. Always acting so nice, but in fact, you're the one who judges others when you hear one party's story. Get your stupid facts right first. I don't care if 2 of you are close now, you don't know what she's really like. You're gonna be real shocked when you find out one day. I don't wanna point out anymore bad things you just had to make things like that. Oh well, congratulations to you because no one can stand your bloody attitude.

Rehearsal!

Hey :-)

Otw home from the national day rehearsal now! ^^ Hehe love my group of dancing classmates!! But someone damn pms today eh wts. It was still fun :) ask us to not back out last minute, but you're the one backing out last minute. Ask us to stay back to practice, you went home. LOL. what is this. How can we not be angry at you, excuse me. Stop apologising to me, it's annoying. Lol.

Can't wait to reach home to have my dinner, I'm feeling so hungry :( And I love bus rides with the sy cause we talk so much hehehe. About anything and everything!!! ;-)

Loved Rino's cupcake! It's so tasty woohoo!

And so, bye!

twelve cupcakes!

I have finally tried twelve cupcakes today LOL I know I'm slow. It tastes really good. But kinda small for a $3 cupcake. :o today seems like a food spree which is BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD!!!!!!! Finally back home after hours of walking around and woo okay the weather's kinda cooling but I'm perspiring. IRONIC. k bye for now!! :)

Fame and popularity, does it matter that much?

I wonder why people gets so desperate because of fame. Why would these people do stuff to hurt others just to get what they want? Kick people around like they're nothing and treat them like trash. I believe every human has their own rights. There are bullies everywhere, because they think they're cool and funny by making others look bad. Yeah sure, funny to YOU, not to other people. And idk why, these people are usually those that contradict their own words lmao. They need to be literally brain washed to clean those thoughts away.

So I have been thinking about too many things. I'm so easily jealous.. jealousy kills so bad. I have negative thoughts all the time because of jealousy, I would start blaming people when it's not even their fault and my thoughts would just run wild. :( I have to improve my character, so that more people wouldn't hate me.. But then again, why am I changing myself just to please others? Oh my lol I think I'm crazy. And I'd like to say what I hate and can't stand? :p

• I hate cigarettes. It's not the people that I hate but I hate the cigar, without the cigar, there'll be no smokers. But I hate being a second hand smoker, those smokers need to be considerate and not smoke at places where people are eating or etc!!! >:(
• I can't stand 2 faced people. Which do you want me to slap?
• I hate it when people say insulting things to other people just for bringing "laughter" to people around them. Please, it's not funny. I feel bad for those getting insulted.
• I hate people who are insensitive too.
• I can't stand people who hang out with a group or certain people just to be popular like them. Um, try hard please.
• I can't stand people who back out last minute and people who just comes late for appointments/meetings and just brushes it off like nothing happened and continues being late the next few times.
• I dislike petty people.
• I dislike people who are too serious towards some matters and then overreacts afterwards.
• I absolutely hate people who are dishonest.
I have so many more things that I hate and etc but I can't think of them at the moment lol. I try to accept the people in my class, but they just get sooooo damn annoying every single day. Ask stupid questions nvm, insult people and then when others ask you to shut up and you give the "NOT LIKE YOU NEVER INSULT BEFORE RIGHT" reply. Coward. -_-

....................

So, today has been super boring. Spent my day sitting around and using my phone. :-( Why are weekends always so boring!! Sobs. I can't wait to know my F&N results!! Hehe :) Good or bad, I shall accept it cause I didn't try studying hard enough, I did, just not enough effort. I now know how important getting good grades are and how studying is so important. It gives you that sense of achievement you'll never understand and that joyous feeling, indescribable.

Watched batman last night and it was quite ok only. Not that interesting...I prefer spiderman more. It's long winded I would say. But the plot's not bad cause it's not what you'd expect. A 6/10 if I were to rate it. Gonna go for late dinner later with the family! Bye! Have a good night everybody!

Look in the mirror

Stop acting so fake. You come to us when you have no friends to go to. It's annoying. When you need us, you stick around like a glue. But when you don't need us anymore, you kick us aside and ignore us. Oh wow. WHAT A WONDERFUL FRIEND YOU ARE.

Am I wrong in saying that? Hahaha NO. Everyone knows that, everyone noticed that. You dare to say my attitude sorta sucks? Oh my oh my, look at yourself first. When we ask you to play, you're like aiya don't want la. but when they ask you? You play. Lol what is this. You'd rather play with them than us? Fine. But don't ever look for us again. Seriously. We are like toys to you right?

I am trying so hard to not dislike anyone but wow you just had to forbid. I was convinced that you changed from last year and have became better but I was so damn wrong. Must've been blind huh? I still thought "no la, I think it's just that she blablabla" but lol no why did I even bother helping to sort of speak up for you.

Thanks though, for letting me know there are so many fakes still. And you guys are freaking noisy, you dont wanna learn, but people wanna learn so shut up in class when people sush you fgs. -_- I don't say shut up directly cos I don't wanna start a fight. But it's getting SUPER irritating. jsygk. Please la, it's like omg just go and think about what you did ok. And I hope you didn't tell whatever secrets that we told you out, though I think you did. lol idk. You ignore us when we asked for help but I chose to not ignore you when they suggested ignoring you. I hate quarrels, fights and disagreements a lot. But I guess people usually think that I like to create arguments cos I always start the spark. No. I don't. I only stand up for what I think is right. SICK AND TIRED OF FRIENDSHIP PROBLEMS. And honestly we can all see how hard you're trying to fit in. Lol.

...

Anyway, every year I'll just be like "no one cares anyway, let's not look forward to it." honestly, I will either cry on my birthday every year, or be crying the day before. I've not felt happy on that day in a long time. Let's see, 9 years?

Missing those times.

I miss it too.... I miss all we've done, all we've been through. Every argument means a stronger friendship. But why doesn't it go this way? Yes, I complain about this and that person but I don't think I sincerely mean it...maybe sometimes but idk why. Sigh. I have a bitchy attitude, I know. Idk how people tolerate with me tbh. Hahaha so funny to be saying such things.

It takes a lot for me to accept somebody fully. I have complains about everyone and everything, I can never be pleased lol. I hate that about myself but I can't change it..it's difficult

I miss how there'll always be something to do after school everyday
I miss how we'll be able to hang out without fail
I miss the lame jokes
I miss the inside jokes
I miss the fun times
I miss everyone
I miss the h2h talks
I miss the shopping sessions
I miss taking neoprints together
I miss retarded and stupid pranks
I miss the water balloon fights
I miss the sleepovers
I miss the gossips
There's still a lot more but
Lastly,
I miss every single person.....

I know some people might think that "oh Sarah's such a bitch, one moment she hates someone, the other moment she miss the person she hates" you will not understand unless you've been through it? Honestly speaking. I love last year so much more. Peace. No hate, no jealousy. Why're things like that now though. Why is it so awkward. Why is it so hard to accept one another? I hate myself for being annoying. But people never understands what I'm going through INSIDE, they always look at the surface and assume things are my fault and that I'm being unreasonable and make people unhappy all the time. Excuse me? Don't presume, assume or even THINK.

A few reasons why I think I get jealous easily is that I don't get those oh so wonderful celebrations on my birthday? But it's just like any other day to me now, doesn't really matter... Receiving cards means a lot but i dont get them sometimes hahaha how pathetic. Not an excuse though, but I don't have friends whom I can look for. I have a few, but idk, it seems like they don't really care. I know they do...but I just can't feel it??? I don't really make sense but yeah..that insecure feeling just keeps hovering around me.

走一步算一步.....吧