Today was a good day in band and stuff so I'm actually quite happy but what's disturbing/discouraging/affecting me is the people I invited to my church. I mean it's ok if you can't make it for your whatever reasons but if you agree to go already then don't like back out eh. Cause srsly it takes me SUPER A LOT of courage to even ask you to attend my church service. But it always comes to me like "yay it's gonna be so fun this coming day coz I'm going with my friends" but in my mind I know that plans get screwed up with expectations. Idk why but let's go with the flow. I mean it's not just to particularly one person or what but as a whole this is saddening to me.
And in all seriousness as to why I feel like blogging today is cos I feel the need to express my thoughts if not bottling this up will only kill me.
I feel like I just need God to send me this friend that is gonna be like my sister. I need someone to come to my mind to talk to whenever I'm troubled. I need someone to show me that I'm appreciated, seriously that's like something I've never been told. Even though people might write cards to me telling me like how much of a good friend I am, it doesn't make me feel that much of like "you're an important friend to me" kinda thing.. I need a friend to hang out with me to spend quality time together and to share what happened today. I have had so many friends I thought I'd be close to and was close to, but it always ends up as us not talking anymore just a hi-bye when we walk pass or worse, we don't even look at each other anymore lol. It's sad....am I boring to talk to, am I a bad friend or are most people like that? Like one moment they're so interested in talking to you/making friends with you but after awhile, they just abandon you
It's a shame.
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