twelve cupcakes!

I have finally tried twelve cupcakes today LOL I know I'm slow. It tastes really good. But kinda small for a $3 cupcake. :o today seems like a food spree which is BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD!!!!!!! Finally back home after hours of walking around and woo okay the weather's kinda cooling but I'm perspiring. IRONIC. k bye for now!! :)

Fame and popularity, does it matter that much?

I wonder why people gets so desperate because of fame. Why would these people do stuff to hurt others just to get what they want? Kick people around like they're nothing and treat them like trash. I believe every human has their own rights. There are bullies everywhere, because they think they're cool and funny by making others look bad. Yeah sure, funny to YOU, not to other people. And idk why, these people are usually those that contradict their own words lmao. They need to be literally brain washed to clean those thoughts away.

So I have been thinking about too many things. I'm so easily jealous.. jealousy kills so bad. I have negative thoughts all the time because of jealousy, I would start blaming people when it's not even their fault and my thoughts would just run wild. :( I have to improve my character, so that more people wouldn't hate me.. But then again, why am I changing myself just to please others? Oh my lol I think I'm crazy. And I'd like to say what I hate and can't stand? :p

• I hate cigarettes. It's not the people that I hate but I hate the cigar, without the cigar, there'll be no smokers. But I hate being a second hand smoker, those smokers need to be considerate and not smoke at places where people are eating or etc!!! >:(
• I can't stand 2 faced people. Which do you want me to slap?
• I hate it when people say insulting things to other people just for bringing "laughter" to people around them. Please, it's not funny. I feel bad for those getting insulted.
• I hate people who are insensitive too.
• I can't stand people who hang out with a group or certain people just to be popular like them. Um, try hard please.
• I can't stand people who back out last minute and people who just comes late for appointments/meetings and just brushes it off like nothing happened and continues being late the next few times.
• I dislike petty people.
• I dislike people who are too serious towards some matters and then overreacts afterwards.
• I absolutely hate people who are dishonest.
I have so many more things that I hate and etc but I can't think of them at the moment lol. I try to accept the people in my class, but they just get sooooo damn annoying every single day. Ask stupid questions nvm, insult people and then when others ask you to shut up and you give the "NOT LIKE YOU NEVER INSULT BEFORE RIGHT" reply. Coward. -_-

....................

So, today has been super boring. Spent my day sitting around and using my phone. :-( Why are weekends always so boring!! Sobs. I can't wait to know my F&N results!! Hehe :) Good or bad, I shall accept it cause I didn't try studying hard enough, I did, just not enough effort. I now know how important getting good grades are and how studying is so important. It gives you that sense of achievement you'll never understand and that joyous feeling, indescribable.

Watched batman last night and it was quite ok only. Not that interesting...I prefer spiderman more. It's long winded I would say. But the plot's not bad cause it's not what you'd expect. A 6/10 if I were to rate it. Gonna go for late dinner later with the family! Bye! Have a good night everybody!

Look in the mirror

Stop acting so fake. You come to us when you have no friends to go to. It's annoying. When you need us, you stick around like a glue. But when you don't need us anymore, you kick us aside and ignore us. Oh wow. WHAT A WONDERFUL FRIEND YOU ARE.

Am I wrong in saying that? Hahaha NO. Everyone knows that, everyone noticed that. You dare to say my attitude sorta sucks? Oh my oh my, look at yourself first. When we ask you to play, you're like aiya don't want la. but when they ask you? You play. Lol what is this. You'd rather play with them than us? Fine. But don't ever look for us again. Seriously. We are like toys to you right?

I am trying so hard to not dislike anyone but wow you just had to forbid. I was convinced that you changed from last year and have became better but I was so damn wrong. Must've been blind huh? I still thought "no la, I think it's just that she blablabla" but lol no why did I even bother helping to sort of speak up for you.

Thanks though, for letting me know there are so many fakes still. And you guys are freaking noisy, you dont wanna learn, but people wanna learn so shut up in class when people sush you fgs. -_- I don't say shut up directly cos I don't wanna start a fight. But it's getting SUPER irritating. jsygk. Please la, it's like omg just go and think about what you did ok. And I hope you didn't tell whatever secrets that we told you out, though I think you did. lol idk. You ignore us when we asked for help but I chose to not ignore you when they suggested ignoring you. I hate quarrels, fights and disagreements a lot. But I guess people usually think that I like to create arguments cos I always start the spark. No. I don't. I only stand up for what I think is right. SICK AND TIRED OF FRIENDSHIP PROBLEMS. And honestly we can all see how hard you're trying to fit in. Lol.

...

Anyway, every year I'll just be like "no one cares anyway, let's not look forward to it." honestly, I will either cry on my birthday every year, or be crying the day before. I've not felt happy on that day in a long time. Let's see, 9 years?

Missing those times.

I miss it too.... I miss all we've done, all we've been through. Every argument means a stronger friendship. But why doesn't it go this way? Yes, I complain about this and that person but I don't think I sincerely mean it...maybe sometimes but idk why. Sigh. I have a bitchy attitude, I know. Idk how people tolerate with me tbh. Hahaha so funny to be saying such things.

It takes a lot for me to accept somebody fully. I have complains about everyone and everything, I can never be pleased lol. I hate that about myself but I can't change it..it's difficult

I miss how there'll always be something to do after school everyday
I miss how we'll be able to hang out without fail
I miss the lame jokes
I miss the inside jokes
I miss the fun times
I miss everyone
I miss the h2h talks
I miss the shopping sessions
I miss taking neoprints together
I miss retarded and stupid pranks
I miss the water balloon fights
I miss the sleepovers
I miss the gossips
There's still a lot more but
Lastly,
I miss every single person.....

I know some people might think that "oh Sarah's such a bitch, one moment she hates someone, the other moment she miss the person she hates" you will not understand unless you've been through it? Honestly speaking. I love last year so much more. Peace. No hate, no jealousy. Why're things like that now though. Why is it so awkward. Why is it so hard to accept one another? I hate myself for being annoying. But people never understands what I'm going through INSIDE, they always look at the surface and assume things are my fault and that I'm being unreasonable and make people unhappy all the time. Excuse me? Don't presume, assume or even THINK.

A few reasons why I think I get jealous easily is that I don't get those oh so wonderful celebrations on my birthday? But it's just like any other day to me now, doesn't really matter... Receiving cards means a lot but i dont get them sometimes hahaha how pathetic. Not an excuse though, but I don't have friends whom I can look for. I have a few, but idk, it seems like they don't really care. I know they do...but I just can't feel it??? I don't really make sense but yeah..that insecure feeling just keeps hovering around me.

走一步算一步.....吧